Guffgaff: Jokes

Sorry for not posting for a week. Internet service was unavailable due to ‘sever problems’. Never mind that.

I added a new section of short lessons with the hashtag (or tile or whatever you like to call it) ’Guffgaff’ (previously called Gaffgaaff). Gaffgaaff literally means ’gossip’ but here I’ll be using it for short lessons, tales, stories, trivia etc. which are not part of the main chunks of Lessons. (i.e. they are not a part of regular lessons) Now, we’ll first see pun use in Nepali.

Q: What is the most dangerous Nepali food?

A: Samurai

Now people might scratch heads and say “what? how is that funny?” Well, first, we all know what is a Samurai. Now, if we split the word, we get ’murai’. ’Murai’ means ’toasted rice’. So now, use your head and see what it means. 

Q: Duita plane udirathyo. Dhwannga Thokyo. Tellai english ma ke bhanincha? 

A: Oil

Now, to understand this joke, you need to know nepali. (duh) If you translate this riddle to english, it will of course make no sense. So the first sentence says ’Two planes were flying.’ The second says ’It crashed.’ Now the pun is in the third sentence. It is asking what ’Tellai’ called in english. Tellai is a slurred version of ’teslai’ which means ’that’. But since tellai sounds like ’tel’ which means ’oil’ (please not that lai is a particle in both cases), we can conclude that it is called oil in english.

Q: Duita chor ekdamai kudera thakera ayecha. Agadi tiin glass dudh dekhecha. Euta chor le ek glass dudh matra khaecha tara tintai glass khali thyo. Tyo tesro dudh ko glass kolle khayo?

Now I am not going too say the answer this quickly and the pun is in the first sentence. Like before, it will make no sense if translated to english. The 2nd Sentence says ’They saw 3 glass of milk in front of them.’ 3rd Sentence says ‘All three glasses were empty even when one thief drank only One glass of milk.’ 4th sentence says ’who drank the 3rd glass?’ Now the pun in first (sentence). Before that, I’ll tell the answer. It is : a damai. Now the 1st sentence says ’Two thieves were exausted because they were running very severely.’ This is because ’ekdamai means ‘very severely.’ But if we rephrase ’ekdamai’, we can split it into ‘ek’ and ’damai’ (damai is a caste of a person) which together means ’one damai’. If we re-read the sentence with the split, it will be read ’Two thieves and a damai…..’  So total there were 3 people! 

Now let’s look at jokes:

I don’t really remember any joke to share but here is one:

Ek tal tiin jana sathiharu gaff handai basdai thyo:

Sathi 1: Mero baba swimming ma esto champion cha, phewa tal ma dive garera begnas tal ma niskeko!

Sathi 2: Tyo ta kei hoina. Mero baba esto champion cha, koshi ma dive haneko, karnali ma niskeko!

Sathi 3: Tyoharu ta kei hoina, sathi haru. Dui barsa agadi mero bau phewa tal ma dive haneko thyo, aja samma niskeko chaina!!!!

Now let’s translate it:

One time three friends were gossiping:

Friend 1: My father is such an expert in swimming, he dived in Phewa Lake and emerged out in Begnas Lake!

Friend 2: That is nothing. My father is such an expert, he dived in Koshi river and emerged out in Karnali River!

Friend 3: Those are nothing, friends. 2 years ago, my father had dived in Phewa Lake. He hasn’t emerged till now!!!!

Obviously, friend 3’s father is dead. We should understand that. It’s a joke after all. And gaff is never real.

Now that is pretty much it! If you have additional jokes, you can share them. Have a good day!

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